why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
