she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
