i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
