Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
