So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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