Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
