hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
