he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
