Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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