im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
