I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
