so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
