Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
