I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
