I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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