I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
