she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
