Where did you get a picture of my penis
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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