Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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