Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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