I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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