Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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