so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
