Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
