Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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