$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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