Well apparently he's into motor boating.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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