It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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