It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
