Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
