"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
