Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
