yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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