So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
