I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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