drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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