She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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