One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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