Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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