Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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