Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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