She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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