this just has baby written all over it
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
