I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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