Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
