i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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