in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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