did you get engaged???
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
