dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
