What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
