I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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