We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
