so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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