he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
