Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
